Monday, August 5, 2013

Our Adoption Story

I am so excited to write about Hudson's adoption story today. I will tell you everything I can tell you . . . but we won't be getting into the details about his birth mother. We discussed what we felt comfortable sharing on the blog and what we decided is that, just like everything else around this manor we are more than happy to share our lives and stories . . . but his birth mother has the right to keep her story for herself. So you will hear everything about our experience but again, not too much about his birth mother. What we can tell you about her is . . . that she is truly one of the most amazing people we have met and that we do plan on having on going contact with her throughout the years!

We were so very very lucky, our Homestudy was over in April but then it takes about a month to type up the final approval by our social worker. Then we had to decide on where we were going to adopted from. Programs open and close all over the world so we needed to decide on a plan. Haiti was an option for a while (but they required that we both be over 30 and I am still 29), Africa was an option but the wait list was a bit long for us, and USA was an option as well but the cost put it out of our reach. Because an adoption from the US to Canada is an international adoption we would have to pay our agency up here and an agency in the US so almost twice the cost of a local adoption from BC.  The only reason we didn't choose BC right away was because we were told the wait times can be very long. We took all of May to decide and by May 28th we had decided to pursue local adoption and submitted our local fee and our profile.

June 12th we were chosen! 

Hudson was born on a Wednesday night but we didn't find out about him until Thursday morning. On Wednesday night I was falling asleep (Lee was already well into a deep sleep as usual), and the name Hudson popped into my head. I have no idea why? Maybe I was thinking of a Canadian Store (The Hudson's Bay Company) I really have no idea, that had never been one of our hypothetical "baby names" before. I woke Lee up and asked what he thought of the name Hudson he said he liked it (half asleep still) and that was it. The very next morning, Thursday morning, around 10:00 am we got a call from our agency saying we had been chosen by a birth mom for a baby boy born last night! I KNEW it was Hudson!

I was told a bunch of info over the phone . . . all I could think of was Baby Hudson. As soon as I got off the phone with the agency I phoned Lee.
Tears streaming down my face, a frog so big in my throat I wondered if I could even get the words out . . . Lee picked up and I managed to get out "We were picked"  and what do I get in response from Lee "That's great!!! For What??" haha Still crying I was able to squeak out . . . "For a baby!"
Then it all clicked and I heard "Oh . . . Wow . . . seriously? . . . wow"

We thought we might have to pick him up that day and to be honest that's how we would have liked to have done it. But because this wasn't a long standing plan in place, the agency and Hudson's birth mother thought it was best to keep him in the Hospital for the weekend so that everyone was sure that this was the right thing to do.
So in the hospital he stayed until Monday. We hoped we would be able to take him home on Monday but the social worker wasn't sure that his Birth mother was 100% in her decision yet. So to protect us Hudson went into a care home.
I will always appreciate our social workers concern for our well being. In BC a birth mother has 30 days from the date of birth to revoke her consent, and everyone wants to avoid placing a baby with an adoptive family then removing the baby because consent has been revoked.
And so started the longest 3 days of my life.

On Wednesday we heard that everyone was comfortable with us taking him home and that Friday morning we were to go and pick up our son!!
One small problem . . . Friday was my sister's wedding day! So we asked if we could pick him up in the afternoon after her wedding and of course that was just fine. I will always be amazed by my sister's grace that day. I was a little afraid to tell her . . . but she was nothing but happy and excited to share her wedding day with Hudson!

This is a scanned version of a photograph given to us by the beautiful woman who took care of Hudson for those first 5 days out of the hospital. This is the very first time we saw him (keep in mind I am in a gown because we had just come from my sister's wedding).
So at this point 9 days after his birth, we still had 21 days to go. I want to be honest with you so I will tell you that while those 21 days were some of the best days of my life they were also some of the worst. Looking at those sweet cheeks and knowing that at any moment the call could come and he would no longer be ours was beyond scary. I experienced a type of anxiety that I didn't even know could exist. It was a pulse pounding, stomach turning, hole in your heart kind of anxiety. I still am not sure how we made it through . . . but we did.

Once we met Hudson's Birth mom in our first meet up I felt instantly at ease. So much of the fear fell away. I almost felt silly for worrying so much. Meeting her was truly one of the highlights of this entire experience.
In BC it takes 6 months after placement to fully "adopted" your child, so come December we will have an adoption party for Hudson and he will, in the legal sense, be apart of our family. But in every other sense he already is!
Seriously,  no one warned me of the tidal wave of emotions that comes from seeing your husband hold your son. It's amazing! 

So that's it . . . our whirlwind adventure. I wouldn't change a single moment. I might give my sister her wedding day but other than that it was all perfect. And a cool story "we picked you up on Auntie Kris's wedding day!"

We both wanted to thank everyone for their love and prayers and well wishes. We were amazed at the out pouring of support for us and our little family. Mini Manor readers really know how to make a couple feel loved! Thank you, sharing this journey with you has made it even more special.

102 comments:

  1. Congrats Ashli! I can hear the love pouring out of your words as I read them. Enjoy your new little family.

    Also.. can I just say, what's with the super creepy Bert picture in the care-home? That's right up there with clown art. Lol!

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  2. Yay! A wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  3. Thank You! It was a truly wonderful story. It brought tears to my eyes.
    I wish that You would always feel as happy as now!

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  4. Whow, what a beautiful story this is. I read it with tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing, Ashli.

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  5. Your faces in that first picture with Baby H brought tears to my eyes. So beautiful. Congratulations to all three of you, and Hudson's birth mother. Looking forward to reading how life around the Mini Manor changes with a baby around.

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  6. Congratulations again - the story is beautifulm& Hudson seems the perfect addition to our sweet family. xo

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  7. that's such a sweet story. I wish all of you a very happy life

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  8. That is such a beautiful story.

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  9. It's quite the same in Ontario. We are waiting for a match for an unborn (the due date was August 4!) and I completely understand your story and your feelings about Hudson. :))

    Thanks for sharing.

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  10. Congratulations! You are blessed to have Hudson and Hudson is blessed to have you. You're right seeing your husband hold your son is wonderful, but when he changes a dirty diaper it makes you love him even more :)

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  11. Oh my goodness! What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing it:)

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  12. Congratulations to you and Lee! I love that you thought of the name the night he was born, without even realizing it. I had no idea about the 30 day rule, but I can imagine how anxious I would feel that entire time as well. Glad everything worked out for the best!

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  13. Awesome! I have tears in my eyes from looking at the beautiful picture when you first met Hudson. So handsome.

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  14. Your story almost made me cry! I'm holding back tears at work. Congrats to you and your new baby I wish you all the best!

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  15. Thank you for sharing your story. As an adoptive mom I just love reading these happy stories.kristina

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  16. This is such a wonderful story and I am so, so happy for you.

    -Lauren

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  17. What a wonderful story! So happy for the three of you.

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  18. It gives me chills...thanks for sharing your journey with us. We were right there with ya, praying, laughing, crying...on pins and needles. He is just precious.

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  19. What a beautiful story, so happy for you all ooxx

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  20. This is so fantastic - congratulations to all THREE of you. Happy family!!

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  21. Congratulations! :) I am adopted and so reading adoption stories is so fun for me! I have a special place in my heart for people who adopt children. You are going to be amazing parents and I am so very happy for you!

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    Replies
    1. your story made me cry... I had to tell you that also! My parents can relate to your story so much, I stayed in a home for 3 weeks because of my birth father being a jerk to hurt my birth mother and trying to get custody of me even though he didn't care about me... he already had another girl pregnant. So they agonized over wether they were going to be able to keep me, they had already met me and fell in love with me. These stories are the best stories! My husband and I have two children of our own but we do plan on adoption someday!

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    2. good for you Libby, my husband is adopted as well, we have two of our own, but maybe someday, if finances allow, we would be open to this as well, no greater gift, so glad you had a good home growing up!

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  22. What a wonderful story! Our daughter is adopted as well (though from Taiwan). It doesn't really matter how a child comes to you from the moment you see them, it's like it was meant to be!

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  23. What a beautiful story.... congrats again Ashli & Lee ~ you both look very natural holding your son. :)

    How's Max handling his new baby brother? ha!!

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  24. Congratulations to you both on the birth of your beautiful son. Your post had me in tears--so beautiful! Funny how your "mother's intuition" kicked in even before you knew he was yours! Jennifer

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  25. I am SO excited for your little family. Thank you for sharing your adoption story with us! It sounds like an amazing adventure with a wonderful outcome. Best wishes to you, Lee, and baby Hudson!

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  26. I love adoption stories! Many Congratulations! I love the name Hudson. It's perfect. Enjoy your sweet boy. xoxo.

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  27. So awesome & wonderful! Congrats!

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  28. I definitely teared up and I'm not a mom! Such a great story!Congratulations on your new little one. Many happy memories are coming your way.

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  29. I got goosebumps all up and down my arms reading about Hudson popping into your head the night he was born. I truly believe this was meant to be. Yes, I have always adored photos of big strong men holding a tiny baby, and when itis your own husband and baby. .. there are no words.

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  30. Thanks for sharing this story. I remember when my friend called me when she received her call that she had been chosen. We were both crying on the phone! The joy you must have been feeling as you planned for your sisters wedding as you were waiting for your little man! My little man is 11 now, and I sure do miss those baby days sometimes!!! You have a lot of love to share for this little one. Congratulations!

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  31. Oh my, thank you for sharing that beautiful story. The photo of you two looking down at Hudson made my eyes tear up. You have the most loving look on your face. What a wonderful, wonderful beginning! Hugs, Stacie

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  32. What a lucky little baby! Congratulations to you both. What an amazing, happy story. Looking forward to reading all your new adventures. :)

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  33. That was beautiful, thank you for sharing! I'm all teary-eyed over here. I can't imagine how anxious you must have been during your wait. Congratulations on your amazing son!

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  34. Congratulations Ashli. Your story is so wonderful. You are going to LOVE being a mom.

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  35. I haven't commented on your blog very often, but I've followed you for a long time and known that you've wanted to adopt. I have to tell you that I read this while tears were streaming down my face- I'm so happy for you!! I know you and Lee will make excellent parents! Congratulations!

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  36. I am so happy for you, lee, max and Hudson! and yes seeing your hubby hold your child, it is just so emotionally raw and humbling you gain a deeper love and understanding for him than you ever thot possible! of course I bet your sister was more than happy to share her day with her nephew. that is aweswome! so so happy for y'all!

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  37. I read it with tears in my eyes as well! Thanks for sharing.

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  38. I read it with tears in my eyes as well! Thanks for sharing.

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  39. I read it with tears in my eyes as well! Thanks for sharing.

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  40. Ashli,

    This post should come with a "tear jerker alert" warning banner across the top of the page! Oh my! What a beautiful family you make!

    We are adoptive parents, and I remember having the same feelings 6 years ago! What a perfect blessing they are, these children!

    Congratulations to you both!
    xo-Lisa

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  41. Without any doubt there are no mistakes in God's plans. I cried when reading this, and thank you for sharing such a personal, beautiful time in your life with us. We grow through pain, and I feel you must have known pain before becoming parents. I'm glad you know joy in motherhood/fatherhood now, and that you were blessed with a beautiful son...making your duo, a trio. <3

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  42. Congratulations! As an adoptee, I love reading these open adoption stories. While I always knew I was adopted, there was still a sense of secrecy growing up in the 70s...and yet, I knew so many adoptees. My mom has told me how hard the first 6 months were for her...it was the same then...6 month until the legal day. I have a colleague who is adopted and she said in her family they not only celebrated her birthday, but also her "Yay-day" which was the day she came home from pre-adopt care. I thought that was such a great idea. If you don't already have it, you must read "Tell Me About the Night I Was Born" by Jamie Lee Curtis. It is a wonderful "children's" book about an adoptee birth story. JLC adopted both of her children and it is just the sweetest story. I love that his name came to you in the night.

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  43. AWWWW!!!!! Each post and picture I see with you and your hubs with hudson...I CRY!!!! Im just so happy for you two! (and I don't even know you in person!) what a wonderful gift and blessing you guys received! Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy :) *hugs*

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  44. incredible story, thank you for sharing! It gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. congrats on becoming a mommy to Hudson, he is very lucky!!

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  45. It's lovely to hear the story of how little Hudson came to such loving and wanting parents. How nervous and excited to get him on your sister's wedding day, who would have thought but you know what all your family were around because of the wedding so it was meant to be. I am so glad Hudson's birth mother gave you the gift of her child because honestly I don't know how anyone could give up their own child. There are lots of reasons and of course the very special one that Hudson will go to two people who have been dreaming about being parents and giving all that love and stating a family. I think adopting in your own back yard (so to speak) was just perfect. I know how amazing it is to be a mother and now it's your turn and lee is an amazing caring husband and will make an amazing father and who could wipe that grin off his face anyway. So thrilled for the both of you. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia

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  46. It's lovely to hear the story of how little Hudson came to such loving and wanting parents. How nervous and excited to get him on your sister's wedding day, who would have thought but you know what all your family were around because of the wedding so it was meant to be. I am so glad Hudson's birth mother gave you the gift of her child because honestly I don't know how anyone could give up their own child. There are lots of reasons and of course the very special one that Hudson will go to two people who have been dreaming about being parents and giving all that love and stating a family. I think adopting in your own back yard (so to speak) was just perfect. I know how amazing it is to be a mother and now it's your turn and lee is an amazing caring husband and will make an amazing father and who could wipe that grin off his face anyway. So thrilled for the both of you. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia

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  47. Woot! Congrats to your family! Blessings to you all :)

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  48. Seeing that first picture of you looking down at Hudson in the bassinet... that brought me to tears. I'm so happy for you!

    I'm very curious about the mother's story, but of course I respect her privacy. I'm sure she knows there's not a better couple to be Hudson's parents.

    I'm so happy for you!

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  49. Wow Ashly, I'm so happy for you and Lee. That boy is very lucky to have you as parents. You're full of love.
    Your baby is beautiful and is great seeing how love he is. Congrats on this new angle of life!
    Hugs from Argentina, Julia

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  50. Well that just made me weepy.

    Congratulations to you both. What a beautiful family you make!

    Annie XO

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  51. I have been reading your blog for a long time but have been absent since the arrival of my two little ones. I was so happy to turn on blogger and read this beautiful story! Congrats!

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  52. Wow, he is just so gorgeous, and you are all very lucky to have each other! My husband was brought at 13 days old. His parents had to drive up to Prince George, and his dad was still bandaged from an explosion he had been in, but well enough to carry him out of the hospital. Your story is just as beautiful, and thank you for doing this, my husband has had a great life and lots of love from his parents,I know you will be amazing parents also!

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  53. Your story brings tears to my eyes and how the name popped into your head the night he was born brings chills! How absolutely amazing! Congratulations!

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  54. Congratulations Ashli & Lee. God bless your little angel! Its a wonderful experience to be a parent!

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  55. so happy for you both :) Hudson is one very fortunate child :)

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  56. I am wiping away the tears.....so very happy for your beautiful family :O)

    Love Michelle xox Melbourne Australia

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  57. My heat is full for you and your precious boys. BIG congratulations

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  58. So adorable! What a great story. Hudson is a such a sweetheart. And you can tell he's just entered a really loving family :)

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  59. All of you are so pretty!...and I see the pride in your eyes. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story! Blessings!!

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  60. What a beautiful story. My heart can hardly handle the love in your two faces seeing him for the first time. It is no different than a biological parent.
    Thank you for sharing this huge part of your life with us.

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  61. This is such a beautiful story. Congratulations to you and your little family. I wish you all the best!

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  62. What a beautiful family. Such a sweet beginning :)

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  63. Amazing! Tears of joy for you!

    Kristen from The Road to Domestication
    www.theroadtodomestication.com

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  64. thank you for sharing the story of how Hudson first touched your hearts. How's the other special member of the family (Max) handling Hudson?

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  65. Many Congratulations, what a great story!

    My husband was adopted and your story sounds so much like the bits and pieces we know of his journey.

    As the mom of a little boy I can tell you that they are amazing little men.

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  66. Congratulations Ashli to you and your new family!
    Denaye

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  67. Wow what a cool story. I can't believe how quick it all came together for you. Congratulations!

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  68. So very, very happy for you and your sweet little family. Your words about Hudson's birth mother are lovely and she has made a truly selfless choice for sweet Hudson. Enjoy the next year, as it will FLY by! Get all the snuggles you can before he's climbing up onto all of your furniture and making mud-pies in the backyard :) You've been richly blessed. God is good. All the time.

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  69. Long-time reader here but never comment. I am so happy for you guys! I was adopted as an infant and cannot tell you how thankful I am every single day, both to my biological parents and to my family. Congratulations and best wishes to all of you.

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  70. Congratulations! Long time reader and I am sooo happy for you!! I have a 4 month old baby girl, so I feel your excitement! :-)

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  71. With so much horror in the world it warms the heart to read such a lovely story, he is a lucky little boy to have found parents who will truly love him. Children bring such happiness so enjoy every second.

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  72. Wow. This is a tear jerker and a heart warmer at the same time, Ashli. You and Lee both look so natural w/ Hudson. Hudson's a beautiful little boy and his birth Mom is beyond lucky to have you and Lee in her life. I look forward to updates about your little bundle! So sweet!

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  73. YAY! You two are amazing people. I was getting anxious just reading the part of your story about having to wait 30 days (in case the birth mother changed her mind). You three, (Lee, the birth mother, and yourself) are AMAZING individuals. Hudson is going to have such an wonderful life. Sending you my best. Cant wait to read more stories about baby Hudson (& how's Max doing with him?) and maybe when you have time, a post about a Home Planner ;)

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  74. I am so thrilled for you Ashli! What a lucky little boy to have you both in his life! Enjoy every moment...they grow up so fast! My baby of the family is turning 15! Sniff..

    Hugs,
    Barbara

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  75. Congrats!!! What a beautiful story and family.

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  76. This is a touching story. Thank you for sharing it. Congratulations!

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  77. I wanted to make sure I had time to read this post, I knew it would tug at my heart strings. I am so happy for both you and Lee. It's so awesome to see you finally with your babe. He looks like a little "Hudson" Can't wait to meet him one day. xo T.

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  78. what a wonderful story. I have tears in my eyes. so happy you and your husband were finally able to adopt a baby.

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  79. I was going through some of my pins on Pinterest and saw one from your blog. I know that I always loved your blog and your style so I decided to pop over to see how things are. This was the first post. I cannot even begin to tell you how the tears welled up and I just wept reading this beautiful story. What an amazing gift in your babe, Hudson. Congratulations on becoming parents! So thankful that Hudson has you to call "mommy" and "daddy". And how amazing that the birth mom was so great and will be a part of your lives. Such a touching story. So happy to read all of this today.

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  80. that is amazing! congratulations! My friends are going through the adoption process and it is not easy! Enjoy your new little guy.

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  81. Oh, man, I am crying sitting here. I am so happy for you and Lee and little Hudson. He is a blessed little man and you and Lee are blessed to have such a wonderful little soul to care for. Very best wishes!!

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  82. As a birth mother (43 years ago), I love adoption stories. Back then there weren't open adoptions such as yours. My dream was fulfilled when my adopted daughter chose to search for me 8 years ago.

    I'm so happy for you, Lee and your whole family!

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  83. I'm so happy for you guys!! What a way to make me cry so early in the morning ;-) Hudson is such a little sweety pie and I cannot wait to follow his growing up with you guys. May you make many more happy memories like this with your sweet little boy xx

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  84. What a beautiful post! Congratulations and wishing all three of you the very best =) =)

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  85. That first photo of the three of you meeting each other for the first time is so moving. The look on your face is truly the look of a real honest to goodness Mama looking at her baby for the first time. What a beautiful photo.

    Congrats again.

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  86. I am so thrilled for you and your hubby and for baby Hudson who has found a wonderful home!

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  87. Beyond thrilled for you and Lee.

    Tears are streaming down my face.

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  88. I am so happy for you! Hudson is such a handsome little man. :) Congratulations! I love "happy endings" like this (though it really only is the beginning).

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  89. Congratulations and I am sooooo happy for the both of you! I am so behind in my blog reading and am so excited to pop on and read your exciting news. I am so happy that your wait was so short. No surprise you guys got picked so fast. You were both born to be amazing parents. Hudson is adorable! Enjoy the amazing journey of parenthood. It really is the most amazing event in life.

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  90. Such a wonderful story and experience! Thanks for sharing it with all of us and congrats again!

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  91. I am a little late in reading this, but I did want to send you my heartfelt congratulations. You've had a long journey so I'm glad that you were picked quickly! And the story of Hudson's name coming to you the night he was born... that's one of those mother intuition things :) Congratulations to your family!

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  92. I'm finally catching up on your blog after several busy weeks and so much has happened! What a beautiful story. Congratulations!!

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  93. The last time I read your blog, you were finishing up your Homestudy program. Today, I was checking in to see what you and Lee were up to... OMG! It happened so, so fast! Congratulations Mama and Papa on a beautiful baby boy!

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  94. Catching up on some of my favorite blogs, and I wanted to say Congratulations! Baby boys are so special! I love his nursery and his name ( and the story behind it). You have so many wonderful moments to come! So happy for you! :)

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  95. Congratulations on Baby Hudson!! What an amazing surprise to come across as I catch up on your blog! I am overjoyed for you and your family.

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  96. Much happiness is being sent your way!

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  97. Congratulations to you! I am also an adoptive mother, and my child's name came to me the same day we got the best call of our lives. Wishing you and your sweet family lots of happiness!

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